i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
