Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
