do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
