just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
