Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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