It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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