Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
