i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
