i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
