Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
