I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
