she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
