What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
