Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
