I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
