And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
