thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
