I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
