Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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