We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
