woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize