On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
