Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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