He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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