i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
