He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize