your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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