new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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