dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
