Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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