Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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