I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
