You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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