i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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