...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
