Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
