I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
