This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
