wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
