I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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