Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
