if you like me you must not know who I am
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
