You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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