sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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