So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
