Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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