I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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