if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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