Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
