you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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