and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
