Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
