Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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