By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Barsexuality is the new black.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize